It had now been about one month since my wife left to go to her parent’s house for Christmas. I was saving up money for us to move into the new apartment complex so when she did decide to come back, we could quickly move out of the motel room. Finally GOD had mercy on me and GOD had her mom tell me the truth. One night after work I called again to see if I could talk to her, and as usual her mom gave one of the lame excuses that I had heard for the previous four weeks. This time I said - come on and tell me the truth, you are way too old to be playing games like this. I told her mom that my dad would never act this way and that my Dad was far too mature to be involved in games and lies like this. Well that seemed to work; Her mom then went on to tell me the truth of what is really going on. She explained to me that it was my ex roommate who had driven her daughter my wife from Las Vegas to her parent’s house, and how they had been keeping in touch on the telephone on a regular basis. My wife and her new friend had made secret plans to get married after she divorces me. Well of course I was now completely shattered once again in my life. To have her leave in secret like this, with our ex-roommate, and to keep all of this from me really hurt my feelings. I said goodbye to my mother-in-law, hung up the phone, and kind of sat there in silence basically in shock not knowing really what to do next. Once again my life came crashing down completely because I had centered it on a woman. First it was my mom who did it, then my first fiancee when I was 18, and now it happened again. My wife had moved out and in secret, made plans to divorce me and marry basically my enemy. During this time, my ex-roommate had told my wife that if he was me at such and such place in the city, that he was going to put me in the hospital. Praise JESUS that he and I never saw each other ever again.
A few more weeks had passed by, and while at work the manager told me I had a phone call. I picked up the phone not knowing who would ever call me at work and it was my wife. This was her first phone call to me since she had left to go home for Christmas. During the next 45 days she would end up calling about five more times.
I had the saved enough money now to pay for the first months rent and security at that wonderful apartment complex that I had kept my eye on, So because my credit was bad, I had asked my dad if he could help me to rent it, and of course he said yes. I called my wife and gave her my new phone number and told her the news that I had moved out of the motel room and into this brand new complex. I told her on the phone that I was working 60-70 hours a week to get both of us out of that motel room and into this beautiful place. During the next few phone calls she told me how our ex roommate never planned on marrying her, but how he had pretended he wanted to marry her so as to get her to divorce me. Now on the phone she was the one crying. She was crying and asking me if she could come back to be with me again. I told her that I completely forgive her but that because of the very nasty way she left me that I couldn’t possibly take her back to be with me ever again. She called me about three more times asking to come back, but each time I told her that I just couldn’t because of the way she had made secret plans to leave me, and I also mentioned that she didn’t call me for more than one month, and that was a very hard experience to go through. The last time she called she was crying and crying to come back, then her dad grabbed the phone and started accusing me of making her cry. About a week later, her dad went ahead and paid for our divorce. Overall we were together from about ages 27- 30.
HOW MUCH WORSE COULD MY LIFE POSSIBLY GET?
I had changed jobs now and went to work with a larger company but in the same field that I had been in before. I was going to one of our accounts and noticed a young lady with beautiful red hair working the front desk. I asked her if we could get dinner sometime and she said yes. We started dating fast and furious and in no time at all she was moving into my apartment. We were both very passionate people and we had a few things in common, but we were both very lonely and living in complete utter darkness. Because of how lonely we both were, our relationship moved ahead at a very quick pace. As usual though, we tended to have some heated arguments. I think arguments are something that all NON believers do because of the pain, frustration and irritability that is built up inside of them because of not having JESUS in their lives. At this time, I still thought I was a Christian and this young lady thought she was a Mormon. We got into some legal trouble with a brand-new business that we opened up. After we went to court and paid the financial penalties that the judge ordered, we came to the agreement that we had seen enough of Las Vegas and made up our minds to move to Oregon. We used an apartment agency to help us to find a beautiful apartment on a golf course in Eugene, Oregon, so we packed up all of our belongings in our truck, and proceeded to drive in the cold and rain and snow all the way to Oregon which took two entire days of driving to reach.
My fiancee and I also watched porn together, so once again, our entire relationship was doomed from the start. We both had no idea that this was a wrong or evil thing to do, and there was nobody in our lives to tell us this was a sin, so as we continued to watch it together, obviously our relationship was getting worse and worse every week and month that passed by.
For the entire time that we were together, we experienced some very good times together, and we also experienced some very bad times too. We could get along great for a few days, then out of nowhere would come a few terrible arguments. This seemed to go on and on and on. Even though I thought that I loved her, I really didn’t. What was happening was, I was trying to replace the emptiness in my heart and soul where our creator JESUS is suppose to be, with woman instead, and that was destined to fail just like it had all the other previous times. At the time, I would have sworn to you that I loved this young lady, but many years later I learned that it wasn’t love, it was more or less lust, darkness in me, sadness and many other dark emotions that had completely taken over my life up to this time. I was still trying to fill the emptiness in my heart and soul with a woman’’s love instead of JESUS‘.
I couldn’t find a job in Oregon so instead I bought a tiny restaurant in Springfield. Springfield is the city that the Simpons cartoon is based off of. My fiancee was able to get a job working for a huge restaurant where she met a new girlfriend who also worked there. My fiancee and this new lady quickly became the best of friends. They became close enough friends to where she would confide in her new friend about many different things about our relationship. Some of the things they talked about on a regular basis were all the negative things about me. So this new friend of hers over a small period of time started to slowly convince my fiancee to leave me. I had no idea at the time, but this new friend of hers was adamantly against me. Even to the point that when she called on the phone asking for my fiancee I could feel her dread towards me.
At this point we had been together in a relationship going on two years, so during this time of being intimate with one another, we had definitely bonded and became one like the bible clearly talks about. I was very hurt that this new girlfriend of hers was really helping to destroy our relationship. At the time I had no idea what to do about this. In that period of my life I just wasn’t equipped with the tools that I needed to handle a situation like this. While this was happening, as the months passed by our relationship went downhill quickly.
Once again, I had centered my whole life around this young lady, so as we got along good I felt a little bit better inside of me, but then when we would argue or fight, I would then feel completely terrible. As I saw her draw farther and farther away from me, those old terrible feelings of pain, loneliness and fear started to rise up inside of me.
Going back to Las Vegas, myself and this young lady were together day and night. We started a new business together and we set it up to where we were able to work together too. I was very attached to her to the point that she had become my whole life.
A few months had passed by now and our relationship was going really badly. She took a vacation back to her mom’s house for the holidays and when she came back, that was the beginning of the end. Her friend had talked to her over and over again about leaving me, she even told her that she could move in with her and that there was a spare bedroom for her. When she came back from her mom’s house, unfortunately we had a terrible argument. With no notice at all, she called me on the phone from her work, and told me that she was moving out for good and that she never wanted to be with me again. As you could probably guess, my heart felt like it dropped to the ground. Once again, I sat there in complete shock now knowing what to do next. I had nobody to teach me to go to JESUS, and there was nobody to give me good godly advice, so I did what I knew how to do best, I suffered night after night with terrible thoughts of depression and killing myself. I knew we weren’t getting along that well, but I had no idea that she was going to leave me. I centered my life around a woman again, so when the woman in my life decided to leave me, my entire universe fell apart. That night I packed up all her stuff and I told her to come by the next day when I was at work so she could pick up all of her belongings. The next day I went to work to open up the restaurant, and while at work she came by with her friends and moved all of her stuff out of our place. Coming home from work that night, and seeing all of her stuff gone, I cant even explain how that felt. Immediately all of the sadness, loneliness, pain and depression that were with me most of my life came roaring back like a hungry mountain lion. There seemed like there was no hope whatsoever for me at that time in my life.
A month or two went by now, and for the first time in two years, I was all alone again and I really couldn’t handle the pain. I use to sit in the dark just wishing I had the courage to finally take the sharp knife in my hand and kill myself. I had looked into how I could get a gun, because I felt if I could get a gun, then I would be finally able to end my life! No matter how hard I tried, and no matter what phone calls I made, I couldn’t get my hands on a gun. I had even called a few people that I knew might have a gun, but neither of them would help me - PRAISE JESUS!
Now that she moved out, I wrote a few letters to my fiancee and had one of my employees who happened to be a Christian deliver them to her at her work. I never heard back from her though. I asked her in the letters to call and say hello, but I guess she had the strength to close off all communication with me completely. I had never threatened her or said anything bad in any of the letters I had sent to her work, but one day the sheriffs showed up at my door. Well, my fiancee had a restraining order made against me which the sheriffs department was now hand delivering to me. Wow, This was more clever work of her new girlfriend who seemed to hate me with a real passion.
The next few months I lived in heavy deep depression and sadness. Every single day felt like I was carrying 1000 pounds on my back. It took all my strength to wake up and go to work each day, then coming home alone each night was like torture. Up to this point, I had been trying to use girls to fill up that terrible emptiness inside of me, and with nobody ever bothering to tell me about JESUS, I was dying a thousand deaths every single night alone in my apartment. I was extremely suicidal during this time; I could honestly say, that after she left me, could have been one of the darkest times in my entire life.
I contacted the same suppose psychic person on the telephone, the one who taught me how to contact the supposed aliens, and she was more then happy to talk to me and try to help me through this dark period of my life, for a fee of course! I tried to call her on a regular basis because I was just reaching out for someone to help me somehow someway, yet she could never help me. She did accept my financial payments to her though, but she could never really ever help me, because she couldn’t even help herself. Up to this time I had been talking to this lady on a regular basis going on approximately 15 years. I can honestly say now with all sincerity, that this lady had never really helped me in all of the years we had been talking. I cannot remember a single time where she was ever able to help me. What a incredible waste of time and money it is to talk to these supposed psychic people who thrive on us who are hurting, sad and depressed all over the country. This was the last time I would talk to this lady. We had a terrible argument and the LORD JESUS set me free from her in my heart where I knew I would never call her again, but there were other brand new supposed psychics people who would be entering my life shortly.
Praise JESUS for these incredible experiences because now I am able to talk to other people who are going through the exact same situations themselves.
I felt I couldn’t live in Oregon any longer. The pain there, the memories of her, the bad memories now, the tears, the constant suicidal thoughts, I just couldn’t handle it any longer. I didn’t know where to go or what to do, so I ended up doing what came natural to me. I moved back to Las Vegas into the nicest apartment complex I could possibly find. I sold my business in Oregon, packed up and drove on the freeway all the way back to Las Vegas in my truck. No matter how far I drove from, no matter what state I moved to, the pain would follow me everywhere I went. I had no idea on earth how to get rid of it and nobody offered to tell me.
Coming back to Las Vegas for the second time now, I quickly started doing what I knew how to do best. I opened up a small business and focused on making money, dating women and diving into the occult a little. I was able to find a new supposed psychic lady to talk to quite easily because they are all over Las Vegas, so I quickly headed down the same old path of destruction that had a grip on me my entire life…….. Money, women and the occult = DESTRUCTION.
This was the second time now that I was living in Las Vegas, and would be the last time too. This second go around lasted about 2 years and what a terrible 2 years it was. This 2 year period was filled with tons and tons of sinning and being about as un godly as most of the other men in the city. It was filled with making a lot of money, and then spending huge sums of it on women, gambling, psychics, eating out at expensive restaurants, gambling and all kinds of other sinful activities that were very bad for me.
This two year period found my life once again racked with pain, sadness, a terrible feeling of loneliness, and a very thick cover of depression over me at all times.
After talking to a few different supposed psychic women, I then met another lady who was located close to a shopping area that I found myself at a lot. The last year of the two years in the city was spent talking to her between 1-3 times a week, and of course like all the others before her, she charged a very high fee…… I haven’t mentioned in this testimony how much these people charge per 30 minutes, because it is a staggering amount, but let us just say they charge a real lot. I cannot ad up the money I have spent on these women through ought two decades, but I would assume it is over 100,000 dollars. Praise JESUS who is so happy to forgive us when we repent our sins to him with all of our heart and soul!
Talking to this lady a few times a week, I could say that she honestly tried to help me, but how could she help me when she couldn’t even help herself. She knew nothing about JESUS whatsoever, or anything else about salvation or the bible. In fact she was very heavily enthroned into the new age and an occult type of lifestyle. So because of this, like all the other women I talked to, she just didn’t have the spiritual tools to help me to feel better. This lady did try though, and I tried somewhat to follow her advice, but her advice would be the same as taking Dr Phil’s advice. That worldly advice that by passes our creator JESUS will never ever help us to feel better, or think better, or gain any type of normalcy in life whatsoever. So even though this lady did honesty try, and even though she did seem to have a good heart, she couldn’t help me at all.
It was during this period that I had met my first Christian friend. In the complex where I was living, a new family moved in and we would all see each other from time to time in the exercise room. The husband was always very friendly and he had a glow about him at all times. After a few weeks of seeing each other down in the exercise room, he asked if he could come by my apartment and have a talk with me. I said of course, sure come on by. He would come by on a regular basis spending anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours talking with me while trying to give me good godly advice. He never came on too strong, he never tried to force me to go to JESUS, in fact, he used just the opposite approach with me. He was extremely patient and he had incredible wisdom. He gave me all kinds of good advice on all the different topics I was going through in my life. 15 years later, I still quote him quite often when I am speaking to people about JESUS. I did take some of his advice on relationships and other matters similar to that, but I DIDN’T take his advice on all spiritual matters. I guess it just wasn’t my time yet to get to know JESUS and to learn what it meant to be a Christian man. As the years have passed by, whenever I think of true Christian people that I know, this man was one of three people that I always think about as truly bearing the fruit of CHRIST and walking as he walked.
Why would JESUS call me to be with him at the age of 19, yet send me no help whatsoever until that wonderful man moved in with his family into my complex. Did JESUS forget to send someone to teach me that I was suppose to pray to him in the years gone past? Did JESUS forget to send someone to tell me that I was suppose to read the bible growing up? Or did he even forget to send someone to teach me to go to church? Well, since he is the LORD, he is always right and he never ever makes mistakes. As of tonight at the age of 44, what he has done with my life and the wisdom he has used is now finally starting to slowly make sense to me.
At the very end of that two year period in Vegas, I had met a male friend on the internet who then lived in Texas. He needed to move out of his moms house and I was looking to move out of Las Vegas too, because after those two years, I had truly had enough of that particular city. My new friend had lived up in the Seattle area before and he asked me if I would be interested in sharing an apartment with him up north. After talking about it for a few weeks I told him sure, let’s go ahead and move up to Federal Way Washington and find a nice 2 bedroom apartment to share.
FALLING DOWN INTO THE PITS OF HELL
I made the very long driver from Las Vegas all the way up north to Washington in about two full days of driving. We found a beautiful 2 bedroom 2 story townhouse in Federal Way to live in, which was actually a very nice apartment. We didn’t have any jobs of course because we had just arrived in the state, so we quickly started brainstorming what we might do to get some money coming in. I had no energy or motivation to get a 9-5 job so I started selling Microsoft software out of my apartment. My supplier was a huge computer store in Las Vegas, whom I did business with the last year of living there. I had them ship me boxes of software for the purpose of selling it in Federal way. My roommate on the other hand never really looked for a job, and during the first 30 days, I really don’t know how he did get his part of the rent money, let alone how he was able to pay all of the other bills too. A few more weeks passed by and he and myself weren’t really getting along all that well. He went ahead and decided to go to Las Vegas to work with his other friend on a brand new business that they just started up. He didn’t move out, he just flew there with a few pieces of clothing to set up this new business, leaving me alone in the 2 bedroom townhouse. I immediately placed more business ad’s for my software and proceeded to work on my business expanding my software sales into a few more cities. At this point I was advertising in Washington, and I chose 2 more cities hoping that my sales would now expand to the point where I wouldn’t have to worry about money any longer. Without JESUS in our lives, we people constantly worry about money, and I was no different.
My business immediately took off and I was now making enough money each day where I really didn’t have to worry about finances any longer. The rent was due again, and I had a lot of trouble getting my roommate who was now in Las Vegas to pay his part of the rent. I also realized that we both were not compatible to live together, so since my income had jumped up incredibly at this time, I decided to move all of his belongings into storage and I moved by myself into another beautiful apartment in the same complex. I called him to give him the bad news, and I also mailed him the key and all the information on how he could get his stuff out of the storage unit. That was the last time I ever talked to him, I never heard from him again.
After moving into my new apartment, I then put a lot of attention into my business. I was currently in 3 cities in the USA, but I wanted to expand much larger. That week I chose two more cities to advertise in which then put me in five cities. Well, sales continued to expand and I was having great success shipping out software everyday. At the end of the month I had expanded into about 10 cities with sales going better then I had expected. Four weeks later I found myself advertising in approximately 20 cities all over the USA with my income jumping up to a very high level. I had met another young man named Shawn who although he was my competitor, he was able to get the software at a lower price then I could currently buy it at. We were able to work out a somewhat fair price and I started buying my software from him now. He would ship me the software once a week so I could then get it quickly out to all of my customers who had purchased it from me. Shawn and myself would talk on the phone every day where we were able to start up a telephone friendship. We would talk about all kinds of un godly topics, which looking back I have to say - wow, what a waste of time that was.
It had been about 2 months since I moved into my new apartment by myself, and I was currently in about 20 cities nationwide with my business, when I noticed that the depression, loneliness, and sadness that I had been living with my entire life was now coming back to me very strongly. The lure and attraction of starting a new business was wearing off now, which then had me focus on the fact that I was totally alone in the world. I was feeling very depressed and lonely and that terrible pain came quickly back into my soul. JESUS had called me to be with him almost 15 years earlier but I was still living my life having nothing to do with GOD or the bible or anything else of that nature. Talk about depression and pain, wow to be called by GOD but to be living without him is pure torture.
International internet dating was just being invented on the internet at this time, and for some reason, I decided that it could be a great way to find a wife. I had no idea why I wanted a wife, and I couldn’t give anybody any answers why I thought it was a good idea, but that didn’t stop me. I contacted about 10 young Russian Ladies on the internet with a nice letter and waited a few days for their responses. The internet dating was so brand new, it was actually for free back then. You could contact the ladies for free via email or a real postal letter and expect a true honest answer back from them in a short amount of time. Approximately five women contacted me back, and I read their letters carefully trying to choose which one I might want to get to know and marry. After one week of thinking about this, I decided I would choose one of the woman who lived in Tula Russia. My business was going great now, so money wasn’t really a problem any longer. Because of this, I was able to make a few international calls a day on my telephone to talk to this young lady and to get to know her. We talked on the phone once in the day time and once at night. Each time we talked she was always very nice and polite and considerate too. In fact, she seemed to be almost perfect. We will find out a little later why I used the word - seemed to be perfect. At this time in my life I still thought I was a Christian man, and she said she was a Christian too. I tell you the truth, neither of us had any idea whatsoever what it meant to be a real Christian.
Every day and night she was always right by her phone ready to answer it at the pre determined times that I said I would call her. She seemed to be about as perfect as any man could hope for, so after a month of talking with her, we decided that we would meet. We realized that she couldn’t get into the USA because she was Russian, so we had to find another place to meet where she would be able to travel to. I asked her if she could travel to Italy, and she quickly said yes, so we decided to meet each other in Venice Italy to see if we were compatible with each other in person.
THE BEGINNING OF THE END
About 1 week before my trip to Italy, I had to start the tedious process of closing up my business. I contacted all of the places I was advertising in the USA, and gave them the dates that my business would be closed. I had my plane tickets ready with my passport, but a few days before the trip, I came down with the flu. Her mom had bought her plane tickets for her to go to Venice, and she was very excited about traveling there. Even though I felt like I was dying inside, I packed my clothes and other belongings and drove to the airport in Seattle. The flight to London took about 11 hours, and then I had a 4 hour stop over before the next flight was due to leave. I was so sick, I had to rent a hotel room just to rest there for 4 hours. The next plane waited on the tarmac about 2 hours in London before it took off for Venice, so this entire trip seemed like it took a complete 24 hours to complete. By the time I arrived in Venice, she had been there since that morning and was able to go site seeing a little bit by herself.
Even though I was very sick, we still did all of the site seeing, went to all of the museums, and ate at all of the great restaurants there. Each night we went to the classical concert hall and watched a different classical concert which was very romantic. She never really seemed to respect the fact that I was real sick during this time in Venice and expected me to be able to do all of the things on vacation that a normal healthy man would do.
We did get along great on this trip, and she was definitely on her very best behavior. So we decided to do what any NON believing couple might do, and that was to get married.
After spending 1 week together in Venice, it was now time to say goodbye at the airport. She would be flying back to Russia at the same time that I would be flying back to the USA. Our plan was simple, have her mom figure out how to put on a wedding festival there in about 30 days and I would fly to Russia to meet her entire family.
Coming back home now, I turned all of my advertising back on for my business and proceeded to work from 9am in the morning to 7pm at night 6-7 days a week. Business took off quickly, and it was as if I had never left. Back in Russia, my fiancee and her mom continued with the wedding plans and all of the other arrangements that would be needed to be made for about 40 of her family members and friends.
The 30 days passed by quickly and it was now getting very close to the time that I would have to pack up again, and hop on a plane to Russia. This time, I wasn’t sick, at least that was some good news. I grabbed my suitcase and passport again and drove to the airport dreading the 12 hour flight from Seattle to Russia which I would be on in just a few hours from now.
In Russia, I have never met people so friendly in my entire life. Her family and friends were so nice, and kind, and generous it really was a cultural shock compared to what I was use to from people in the USA. I was going to be there seven days, so we had to get all of our marriage licenses and paperwork completed right away, before the seven day period was up and I had to go back home to the USA. Her mom had rented a large hall for the ceremony, where they put a huge dinner table in the middle of the hall loaded from one end of the table to the other, with all different kinds of Russian food. 40 people were seated all around the huge table, and as is custom in Russia, the people would get up one at a time saying nice things or prayers or other complimentary things to my bride and myself. Well, its also custom in Russia to drink, so at this point in the dinner, a lot of us were already drunk, but it was a very beautiful event.
The seven days were up, and we completed all of our paperwork that we had to turn in to the USA embassy in Moscow, so all that was left to do was to have a goodbye dinner at her mom’s house the night before I left.
Her mom cooked a traditional Russian dinner, which actually tasted very good. We sat around the table talking and chit chatting with her Dad and Uncle for a few hours. The dinner was winding down now and her dad said he wanted to tell me something, so I said sure, of course Sir go ahead. At the table now was my wife, myself and her dad, everyone else was in the living room at this time. Her Dad lowered his voice and said, "Garrett, promise me something. Promise me that no matter what you do, you will never buy or sell pirated software". I said "Sir, the software that I buy is all real Microsoft software and that there is nothing to worry about". I went on to tell him that the thought had never even crossed my mind. JESUS was giving me a verbal warning through her Dad in Russia, but just like always, I didn’t bother to listen. At that time in Russia, I honestly thought that all of the software I was buying was completely legal and legitimate. I would of sworn to you that the software that I carried was all directly from Microsoft, which was then being distributed through middle men throughout the country. Even though I didn’t listen to the LORD’S warning through her Dad, I do really appreciate the fact that JESUS did give me that verbal warning.
On the way to the airport, I felt a little sad that I would be leaving everyone behind in Russia. We said our goodbyes and I told her I would be calling her each day and night to keep in touch while we wait for her visa to be approved. Now we would be in a waiting period for immigration to approve her visa so she could fly to the USA to be with me. Upon arriving back in Federal Way Washington, I quickly started up my business and expanded to even more cities. It took only six weeks for her visa to arrive, but during that six week period I expanded my business from 20 cities to 43. I was getting up first thing in the morning, and continued to work non stop till after dinner time 6 ½ days a week. I continued to call my wife once in the day time and once at night, but in between those calls I was working like a fanatic. During this time I was making a huge sum of money every day. I was taking in thousands of dollars a day of profit, which I was storing in safe deposit boxes and at the same time, hiding a lot of cash in my apartment too. I had NO spiritual life at all, and it was really taking a toll on my body, soul and emotions. I am so thankful JESUS had everything under control, because at that time of my life, I really felt like I could of died at any second. There was a terrible feeling of darkness in my apartment at all times and I couldn’t sleep good at night. I was tired all the time and under incredible stress.
I was calling the last supposed psychic lady who was back in Las Vegas about 1 time a week. We talked about business strategies, my new wife who would be coming soon into the USA very shortly and many other topics too. She would charge my credit card which was how I was able to pay her even though we were in different states. Overall she was very against myself bringing a Russian lady to my country to live with me. I was living in a complete dream world. I wasn’t listening to anyone or anything. I did everything my way and I didn’t want to hear any advice from anyone else. I was very arrogant, bossy, rude, mean, short tempered, and overall a complete bully. In other words, I was a real life monster.
My software suppliers had a constant flow of products showing up at my apartment door, which I then turned around and shipped out to my customers all over the USA. I was able to expand to about 43 cities when my business was at its largest, but it was a complete nightmare to run this operation alone. I was looking forward to having my wife show up to help me run this business, and even possibly dividing up the work load somehow.
Six weeks passed by real quickly, and in no time at all my wife was telling me that her visa was ready and that she could come anytime we wanted. We had a small argument then because I wanted her to come be with me right away, but she was very lackadaisical about buying the plane ticket. I told her to plan a going away party for her friends and family as fast as possible, and then pack up all of her important belongings to bring with her to the USA.
She arrived in Seattle in mid afternoon on a weekday, carrying with her a few pairs of very old clothing and her books from college. She was a very educated person in translation which was also her career at the time. She was extremely intelligent, in fact she was a little too smart for her own good.
A few days later, I grabbed about 10,000 dollars cash and we drove to the huge mall in Federal Way for the sole purpose of buying her a entire wardrobe of clothes to wear. She wasn’t talking much at all, which was quite strange because in Italy and Russia she was a very good communicator, but now something was already wrong. It couldn’t of been our wonderful apartment that was bothering her, and she didn’t even have time yet to see just how much of a monster I was, so I decided to talk to her as we sat down in the middle of the mall at the food court to have a small lunch. I asked her, what’s wrong? But she couldn’t really answer me. She said she is brand new here and she is feeling strange. So I accepted that answer as the truth and didn’t really bring it up again. We walked through the entire mall as I pointed out dress after dress, pants after pants and all of the other nice things in the mall, but she didn’t want anything. She said she didn’t like anything in the mall so we left without spending a single penny.
Two weeks passed by and she still wasn’t talking much. Because of the fact that we weren’t talking much, I could also say that our marriage was already in trouble and this was after only a few weeks. She was acting very strange too. One day we were driving back home from the store, and just before we parked the car in the parking lot of our apartment, she started to cry. I asked her a few times what’s wrong, but she wouldn’t tell me. That happened a couple of times, but I was so use to living in my own little evil dream world, that I really didn’t have the tools or ability to get her to open up and have some good communication.
We needed a car for her now, and at the time, we both wanted to build up her credit. I decided to grab 10,000 dollars out of my apartment where I kept a lot of money hidden, and we both drove to the car dealership to put the money down on a brand new sports car in her name. she found the sports car and the color that she wanted, but she didn’t know how to drive. So instead of driving home with the car, we had to put the 10,000 dollars as a down payment on the car promising we would be back in 2-3 weeks when she could pass the driving test at the DMV. Each day we would take a 1-2 hour break from work to teach her how to drive. She would drive my car, while I sat in the passenger seat trying to teach her the very best I could. The problem was, my entire life had already shattered many, many years earlier, so as I was trying to teach her how to drive, we ended up getting in a lot of heated arguments. I had to purposely try to be nice, because I was naturally mean now. I had to purposely be patient, because at this time in my life I had NO patience. I had to purposely watch the tone of my voice, because at this time in my life I was use to bossing everyone around with any tone of voice I wanted. When she made driving mistakes, I tried my hardest to correct her nicely, but then she would start to get attitude against me and as you can see, this was very destructive towards our brand new marriage. As long as I live, I will never forget trying to teach her how to drive. Praise JESUS who gives us all of these wonderful lessons in life, because we will be carrying all of these lessons and experiences with us to live in Heaven for eternity, which will only give us more and more reasons to worship JESUS.
The car dealership had called us on the telephone wanting to know when we might be able to pick up the car. It had been a few weeks now of her practicing to pass the DMV test. I knew she wasn’t ready yet, but we made an appointment with the DMV anyways for her to take the driving test. She made a lot of mistakes, but somehow, someway the instructor passed her which was quite a shock to me.
We finally had the car at home, and it was just incredible! By now, she also had a few brand new outfits to wear, and on top of that our business was going great, what else could possibly go wrong? We were both working on our business every day, but we worked in separate rooms. I was working in the den, and she was working behind the living room area. She was very unhappy working on the software. She had dreams of coming here to the USA to be an attorney, or a office manager, or whatever else she had in her mind, but I explained to her that we were making approximately 2000.00 a day, and why would you want to go to school for all of those years, struggling each night with the homework? I guess she had other plans and dreams at that time that I didn’t know about, which I was going to find out about soon enough.
SHE FINALLY TELLS THE TRUTH
I was on the computer she used to email her family because I wanted to play a game. This was the only computer we owned at the time, so we both would use it to do the various things that people do each day. She had left her email up I am sure on a accident, and I couldn’t help but to notice that my name was mentioned. I opened up the email that had my name in it, and proceeded to read the entire email for the next 3 minutes. she said in the email a lot of bad things about me. She was telling this complete stranger lots of personal bad things about me and this really hurt my feelings. I wasn’t a bad or mean person on purpose, I was just a product of my entire life at this time without JESUS in it. The world had dealt out a bad hand of cards for me to play in life, so now at this point in my life, I was a exact model of how my real life experiences had made me to be. Thank GOD, that the CREATOR was watching every single step of my life, and holding me in his precious hands constantly when I needed him the most. JESUS was giving me all of these experiences so as to make me out to be the man of GOD that he wanted me to be for the rest of eternity!
I read all of the bad things she had said about me in her email, and I saw she was in the bedroom putting away some things, so I composed myself the best I could, and in a real nice tone of voice I asked her if we could talk. She said yes, but she had a serious expression on her face. I told her that I accidentally found the email that she had written about me, and that it hurt my feelings a lot. I told her that this was a real mean thing to do, and why would she say these terrible things about me. Well, she talked her way out of it. She told me that the email didn’t really mean anything, and that she wasn’t really serious, and that it was just a simple letter to another Russian lady she had met on the plane flight coming here. So I dropped the entire topic and slowly walked out of the room back to work in the den. The amount of evil spirits inside of me at this time clouded my mind and heart so I couldn’t think clearly. I couldn’t feel anything clearly, and I just wasn’t able to fix situations or work out situations properly. basically speaking, I was a complete mess emotionally and spiritually, just like I had been for most of my adult life.
The next incident was even worse. A week or two later, I was in the bedroom counting the money that I hid in the apartment, while at the same time she was on the computer reading emails. Greed was starting to really take a hold of my heart and soul and wow what a powerful emotion greed is. While in the bedroom counting the tens of thousands of dollars that I had hidden all over the room, I heard her crying at the computer. I was just about done counting all of the money, so I called out to her in a nice voice, "what’s wrong"? She didn’t answer me. I finished counting the money and asked her again, calling out to her, what’s wrong honey? All I heard was her crying. I put the money away where I always hid it, and slowly walked to her sitting behind the computer. When she saw me coming, she got up and walked to me away from where the computer was. We proceeded to sit down and talk. She told me that her mom had emailed her a very strict letter accusing her of a few different things. I have no idea why my wife decided to tell me the truth here, she sooooo easily could of lied and just deleted the email. This is one of those times when GOD takes over and forces the other spouse to tell the truth, even when she could have easily got away with lying to me. Her mom back in Russia would go to the spa every Saturday morning and talk with all of the women there. During these visits on Saturdays since our marriage ceremony, she found out that my wife had FAKED our entire marriage. Her mom found out two different secrets that really hurt her feelings now. 1 - she was faking the marriage with me because she hated living at her mom’s house and she hated Russia. 2 - she was pretending to love me, just so she could use me to get out of Russia and into the USA. What a incredible experience this was to find out that my wife was faking the entire marriage, pretending to love me. I can’t possibly tell you how it feels to find out that your entire marriage is fake. Now things at home and in my life were worse then ever. Once again, because of how much my mind was cloudy, and how I wasn’t able to reason things out or think clearly, or even feel clearly, I definitely wasn’t able to handle this situation either. So I did what I always do, I decided to totally forget about this for the time being and to re focus more then ever on making money. My life was a complete disaster, my marriage was a disaster, but the money kept coming in through my business at an incredible rate.
A short time later, we were selling so much software that we actually ran out of inventory. I called all of my suppliers to find out who could send me some software as quickly as possible, but to my surprise, all of them ran out of software too and nobody had any available. I was on the phone constantly with my suppliers trying to find out when they might get a new shipment in. while out of software, all of my customers continued to call me from all over the nation placing new orders for software. Because we had no inventory, I would tell them that we are temporarily out, but I would be shipping their software to them as soon as possible. Each customer that called, I would write up his order and scotch tape it to my living room wall. A week went by, and still no word on any shipments coming in. by the time a second and third week passed by, my living room wall was completely filled up with orders scotch taped to the wall. The total amount of software pieces ordered at this time awaiting to be shipped out, was somewhere between 50,000 and 70,000 units. The profit on 50,000 pieces of software would have been around 100,000$, so as you can see, I was starting to really freak out. Greed could possibly be THE most powerful emotion I have ever felt. Greed is probably the most misunderstood emotions too. It is shocking how it takes over a persons life, how it changes the way we think and feel about things. Greed changed my entire outlook on what is important and what isn’t. It was definitely harming my marriage now, and I am sure I was completely un recognizable to my family.
A few more weeks passed by, and there was still no software available anywhere to be found. My main supplier told me that he had no idea when some would come in, and that this could be a great time to take a break or vacation. In the meantime, orders for more software kept coming in on my telephone, because of this, the living room wall was slowly being covered from top to bottom with orders scotch taped to it.
I talked to my wife, and explained that my supplier had said that this would be a great time to take a break or go on vacation. She was all for that idea, because she hated working on the software. The first week off consisted of getting up in the morning, lounging around till noontime, getting the best possible lunch we could possibly find, and then more of the same at home until dinner time. We were going out to eat a lot at the finest restaurants, and at the same time we were cooking steak and chicken on a regular basis on all of our fancy cooking grills that we had in our kitchen. Orders for software were still coming in, and at this point I was forced to tell all of my customers the truth. I told them that we ran out and to please be patient until more software shipments comes in. all of them understood and waited patiently until I could get some more. I felt terrible this week, mainly because of boredom, a little because my wife and myself just couldn’t ever get along at all, but MOSTLY because I wasn’t making any money which was driving me insane.
CONTINUE TO CHAPTER 3